My rapid spiral downwards #2

June 14, 2010

Before I could be completely diagnosed, my symptoms were getting really bad, really quickly. The stiffness that was preventing me from doing my hair in the morning and made it literally impossible for me to do my bra up or pull my shirt over my head, was getting worse. Getting up in the morning was a draining and really emotional time. I had to go to work and ask my colleague to pull my hair into a pony tail for me.

The pain was so extreme I was barely sleeping. I have spent my entire life sleeping on my tummy, arms wrapped around my pillow, then all of a sudden I could not lift my arms up without extreme discomfort so I was forced to sleep on my back. A simple thing you would think but I can’t sleep like that so I took to knocking myself out with sleeping pills so I could get some shut eye.

The pain started to spead. It was no longer just in my shoulders and hands but it moved down to my hips and my knees. Walking down steps was time consuming and every step had me wincing. I remember lying the bath one time and looking at my toes and wondering at what point would the pain reach the joints in my toes. The only place left in my body that was not aching.

A week later my toes were in pain.

There was weird pain too. My jaw was sore, it felt bruised as if someone had hit me. Sometimes my ribs were sore and generally I felt as though someone had beaten me up or I’d worked out incredibly hard and now had the post exercise ache. Except, I wasn’t doing any exercise at all. This was just my body attacking itself.

Sometimes I had jolting pain in my fore-arms or my wrists felt sprained. Sometimes my teeth hurt, sometimes my elbow would jolt as I swung my arms walking and I would scream out in pain and then reassure my friends I was ok, while fighting back tears.

It was so damn confusing! I was so, so confused. Why was this happening to me? Why was that unbearable pain in my right knee here one day and gone the next, replaced by an aching and swollen middle finger?

If you look at things positively, I loved that if I was having a really bad, painful day, I knew the next day that specific pain would have gone and maybe it would be replaced by something else or maybe I might have a pain free day. It was a game of russian roulette, everyday.

Keep reading about My Rapid Spiral Downwards #3

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3 Responses to “My rapid spiral downwards #2”

  1. Naomi you are brave for writing this and I applaud your efforts. I can see your confusion as you struggle to deal with your diagnosis and how your life will/has changed. Congratulations on starting and I’m sure you’ll help yourself and others with this disease as you write your story.

    • Thanks Jo, there were tears as I wrote but think it will be worth it. It’s tricky to start with, getting a few months of events, thoughts and feelings into a couple of posts but as I write more regularly it will flow more often. Thanks for your kind words.

  2. […] reading about My rapid spiral downwards #2 Posted by naomijoyce83 Filed in Uncategorized ·Tags: auto-immune disorder, chronic illness, […]

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